Baby In A Million Read online

  Ashley started to feel physically ill and couldn’t talk for a minute.

  “I’m sorry you’ve lost confidence in me, Ashley, but I won’t apologize for wanting to help save him. One thing I can promise you, he’ll never try phoning you again. Seeing how bitter you still are, it took more courage on his part than I would have had to reach out to you one last time. To be completely honest, I’m shocked he actually had the fortitude to make contact.”

  He was sounding an awfully lot like Cord.

  “Am I such a horrible person?” she finally asked in a dull voice, dying a thousands deaths inside.

  “You know better than to ask a question like that. I’m not judging you, Ashley. I’m not in your shoes and couldn’t possibly presume to feel what you’re feeling. All I know is, two wonderful people who seemed so perfect for each other are now living drastically altered lives and I’m helpless to do anything about it.”

  Ashley couldn’t take any more. “Greg— I didn’t mean to place you in this terrible position. I don’t blame you for what you’ve done.” Her voice trembled. “In fact I love you for caring so much. I don’t want to be a bitter woman. There’s nothing uglier or more self-destructive.” She lifted her head and eyed him levelly. “D-do you know his room number at the hospital?”

  “He’s not in there now.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When you didn’t come, he checked himself out and went home.”

  “What?” With difficulty, she got up from the chair. “But that doesn’t make sense.”

  “I guess it does to him.”

  She bit her lip. “I—I’ll phone him as soon as I get home.”

  A somber expression darkened his features as he rose to his feet and walked her to the door. “Please, Ashley,” he whispered against her forehead where he gave her a kiss. “Don’t do anything unless you mean it.”

  Don’t do anything unless you mean it?

  Those words went ’round and ’round in her head all the way back to the apartment.

  As soon as she’d put away groceries and prepared Mrs. Bromwell’s lunch, she left her propped up with pillows listening to the radio, then shut the door and reached for the phone. But fear of becoming vulnerable again prevented her from actually punching in the numbers.

  Another hour went by while she debated what to do, all the while growing more and more frantic. Finally, when she couldn’t stand it any longer, she picked up the receiver and phoned Cord’s extension at the office. Most of the time Sheila answered it for him.

  Prepared to hear the satisfied sound in her husky voice, Ashley was taken aback when a terse, “Yes—” came over the wire to meet her ear. He had to be in a vile mood.

  “Cord?”

  For once the deafening quiet coming from his end told her she’d caught him off guard.

  “Ashley? Dear God—it is you.”

  The raw emotion in his voice revealed that she still had the power to affect him in some small degree. Summoning her courage she said, “I went to see Greg today. He said you’d left the hospital. Why?”

  “Does it matter?” he asked grimly. “Last night you said you didn’t want to hear anything I had to say.”

  She was afraid it would be like this. “Cord—do you want me to go on, or shall we just hang up?”

  “No. Don’t do that! I’ve been in a foul mood and didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

  If she didn’t know better, she would say he was nervous, which was odd because Cord wasn’t the nervous type. Anything but. At least she could say that about the Cord she thought she knew. Right now she didn’t know anything anymore.

  “If you need to be in the hospital, then I don’t understand why you went back home. What’s wrong with you?”

  “It’s my worry, Ashley. I’ll deal with it.”

  She frowned. Something was missing in Cord, some elemental spark which had always been there before. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but the fact that he didn’t seem like himself bothered her terribly. Especially when he was going to be a father soon.

  “I’ve made a decision, Cord. Please check yourself back in and I’ll come over.”

  “Because of problems at the office, I couldn’t go in before Monday. But in any case, it’s asking too much of you.”

  Greg had intimated Cord was deeply depressed. She was starting to realize what he’d meant.

  “Not according to Greg,” she interjected. “He seems to believe you’re in real trouble.”

  “He’s exaggerating.”

  “I don’t think so. Let me know when you’re back in City Creek Hospital and I’ll be there.”

  “No, thanks. Your sacrifice isn’t required, certainly not this close to the divorce. I should never have called you. I’ll work on my problem in my own way.”

  Ashley felt a stabbing pain in her heart. He sounded like he was giving up. She couldn’t let this go, no matter the situation with Sheila.

  “I—I’m afraid it’s not just your problem any more.”

  Another long silence ensued. “What in the hell do you mean by that?”

  At least she’d roused him out of his morose state for a moment. “All will be explained when we see each other Monday morning. I’ll be there early.”

  Without giving him a chance to respond, she quietly put the receiver back on the hook. Only now was it hitting her what she’d done.

  Because she had agreed to meet him at the hospital, he would find out she was practically ready to deliver their child.

  Not only would he be hurt and angry that she hadn’t told him, he’d be in shock. According to the tests, their pregnancy had to have made medical history.

  She had a premonition that once he found out, everything would grow more complicated and the divorce would be prolonged. But she’d taken the risk and couldn’t go back on her word now. Not if something was really wrong with Cord, and she firmly believed there was.

  Without wasting another moment, she called the Bromwell family to arrange for someone else to come in to watch after their mother.

  On Saturday, when Mrs. Bromwell’s oldest daughter came over to the apartment with the new person hired, Ashley went shopping for some new maternity clothes. She couldn’t spend much money, but she needed a few decent outfits to wear to the hospital. In the end, she bought several pairs of tailored cotton pants and artist’s smock tops in a flowered print, plus a couple of dresses.

  At five after six Monday morning, Ashley stepped through the doors of the hospital and walked over to the main desk. “I’m Mrs. McKnight. Has my husband, Cord McKnight, checked in yet?”

  The receptionist typed in something on the keyboard and scanned the screen. “Yes. He’s here. Room 521-C. Take the east elevators to the fifth floor, then turn right and report to the nursing station. They’ll direct you from there.”

  “Thank you,” she murmured with a sigh of relief. All weekend she’d worried that Cord wouldn’t show up after all.

  With trepidation and a heart that was hammering out of control, Ashley headed for her destination. By the time she entered the elevator with her suitcase and sewing bag, she felt jittery and uncertain.

  In the last eight months she’d become a different person physically. Though more slender than ever in body and limb, she was pregnant enough to look like she could have her baby anytime now.

  Many women with their first pregnancy didn’t show as much as she did, but that was probably because she was five feet four and there was no room for her baby to grow but out. No wonder Greg had commented on how much she’d blossomed when she’d visited him on Friday.

  As she made her way down the hall, she wondered if Cord would even recognize her, especially with her short hair. Friends and acquaintances who’d known her when it had been long said they liked it both ways. But they thought the pixie style showed off the smooth oval of her face and brought out her slightly almond-shaped eyes which were a mixture of blue and green. Cord had always remarked on how they shimmered between her
dark lashes whenever she was in the throes of deep emotion.

  She’d debated over wearing her wedding rings, but at the last minute decided she’d better keep them on. She and Cord were still married in the eyes of the law, and she had an idea Cord wouldn’t like it if she didn’t show up with them. Better not upset him any more than necessary. Her appearance would be shocking enough and she needed to make the most of it.

  After changing her mind several times, she finally chose to wear the new Indian madras style in a shimmery turquoise shot with gold threads. The filmy dress with sleeves to the elbow, fell straight from the shoulders to the gold embroidered hem. Gold earrings and neutral leather sandals with a low wedge for walking comfort completed her outfit.

  The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass Cord whose tall, rugged good looks turned female heads wherever he went. Possessing a physically powerful, hardmuscled physique with dark hair and eyes as dark as blue as cobalt, the attention he drew was a phenomenon Ashley had been forced to accept early in their relationship or jealousy would have torn her apart.

  The only reason she could handle it was because he was oblivious to the stir that always surrounded him. The opposite of a vain man, he never thought of himself. Until Sheila, he’d never given Ashley any reason to think another woman filled his eyes or his thoughts.

  Because from day one he’d made Ashley believe that she was his whole world, it was like a ghastly, sickening nightmare when she saw what was happening between him and his own stepmother.

  Stop it, Ashley. The past no longer matters. You’re here for Cord’s welfare. Put everything else out of your mind or you’ll go mad…

  Taking several deep breaths to calm down, she approached the nursing station. “Hello— Could you tell me where 521-C is?”

  “Go down the first hall you see on your right and pass through the double doors. You can’t miss it.”

  Ashley muttered her thanks, picked up the suitcase and sewing bag which seemed to have grown heavier, and started off. As she rounded the corner, she saw a tall, dark-haired man coming through the doors halfway down the hall. Even from this distance he looked instantly familiar.

  Cord.

  All the air seemed to leave her trembling body. She could tell it was her husband by the way he carried himself, those long swift strides which were headed in her direction.

  She hadn’t had any sleep for the last two nights planning what she’d say to him when they first met again after all these months. But she didn’t need to worry because he swept right past her, intent on reaching the main hallway.

  Had she changed so much?

  Staggered that he didn’t recognize her, she turned around to go after him, then froze in place because he suddenly swung on his heel and stared back at her in total disbelief.

  They couldn’t be more than six feet apart, yet it was close enough for her to watch the blood drain out of his face. He looked so gaunt, she thought he might faint. Because he was wearing the familiar pewter-gray business suit with the paisley silk tie she liked so much, she could tell he’d lost weight.

  He looked ill.

  “Hello, Cord.” She managed to find her voice at last.

  He drew closer, his intense gaze taking in her face and hair before inspecting every square inch of her pregnant body with eyes as frigid and dark as the Arctic. As each second ticked by, she saw the tightening of his chiseled features, the way his body went rigid and his hands formed into fists at his sides.

  A shadow passed over his face. “Who’s the father?” he bit out with unconcealed fury.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Ashley shouldn’t have been surprised by the question, but somehow she had expected any response, any comment, any question but that one. Her fidelity to him was not in question here! But incredibly it seemed that her husband believed someone else had fathered their child.

  She supposed he could be forgiven for coming to that conclusion. But at the same time, did he honestly believe she could sleep with another man while she was still married to him?

  What an amazing irony. She could have laughed out loud if she hadn’t felt like sobbing.

  “Can we talk about this in private?” she whispered because people were walking in the hallways from both directions. Right now his mood was too volatile to trust in the company of others.

  Like an automaton, he picked up the bag and suitcase, then grasped her elbow in an almost painful grip. Before she knew how it had happened, he’d ushered them down another hallway to an open housekeeping storeroom.

  “Cord—we can’t come in here!” she cried softly.

  “We just did.”

  He turned on a light and slammed the door, barring any hope of a quick exit with his unquestionably masculine frame.

  She hadn’t been this close to him for so long, she forgot how susceptible she was to his potent male appeal, the scent of the soap he used in the shower, the warmth of his hard body electrifying hers.

  Strong hands reached out and covered her shoulders, forcing her closer, but her swollen belly prevented a merging of their bodies.

  “Look at me,” he demanded in a deceptively quiet voice.

  Afraid to do otherwise, she lifted her head and met his piercing glance.

  “Tell me who he is, Ashley.” His voice grated.

  She tried swallowing, but it was impossible. “I’m surprised you have to ask.”

  A glint of pain flashed in the depths of his eyes. “It’s Greg’s baby, isn’t it?” came the tortured utterance.

  “Greg!” she blurted incredulously.

  The hands on her shoulders bit in to her skin. “He’s always been crazy about you. It’s the reason he hired you to work for him after we found out I couldn’t give you a baby. It’s the reason he’s been so damn loyal to you. Good Lord— To think my wife and my best friend could get involved—” he ground out. His haunted tone devastated her.

  Right now would be the perfect time to throw Sheila in his face and make him realize what their affair had done to her, Ashley. But she couldn’t.

  “Please, Cord. Your hands— You don’t know your own strength.” In his pain, he had unconsciously gripped her too hard.

  When her entreaty got through to him, he let go of her, looking like the lone survivor of a horrendous battle.

  Taking a deep draft of air she began to explain. “The night before I left the house, y-you came to my room, and you know what happened. Within a few weeks, I had all the signs of flu and went to see Dr. Noble.

  “He ran a lot of tests, but everything came back normal. He joked with me that my symptoms sounded like morning sickness, then asked me when was the last time that you and I had slept together.”

  The whole time she was talking, Cord seemed to be looking straight through to her soul.

  “One thing led to another and he decided to do a pregnancy test on me. He said stranger things had happened, that once in a while an infertile couple defied all the odds.

  “When the first test came back saying I was pregnant, he did two more tests to be absolutely certain, then told me we’d made medical history.”

  Her proud chin lifted a little higher. “It’s your baby, Cord. No one else’s.” Her voice throbbed.

  A stillness came over him that pervaded the entire storeroom.

  Like trick photography, his expression underwent a total transformation. Frame by frame she watched, as if new life had just been breathed into his body. His well-defined chest heaved from the force of a dozen new emotions exploding inside him, needing expression.

  Ashley could feel them because her body was undergoing a similar reaction. She’d lived with this secret knowledge too long, holding back for the moment when they were divorced and she was ready to tell him.

  But circumstances had dictated that she tell him sooner, and now her husband knew the truth. With this knowledge, she realized everything was about to change…

  “I presume you were going to tell me after the fact,” came the acid comment.


  A fresh wave of guilt swept over her. “I—I thought it best to keep it to myself so our divorce would go through quickly. Sheila intimated that the two of you were anxious to—”

  “Sheila be damned!” he interrupted cruelly. “You knew how much I’ve always wanted to have a baby, and you kept it from me. Good Lord, Ashley—”

  Her heart almost failed her. “But, Cord— Sheila said—”

  “I don’t ever want to hear her name mentioned again,” he bit out with barely controlled rage. “When is our child due?”

  “May thirtieth, four weeks from now.”

  “The day before my birthday,” he murmured in wonder, as if to himself. “Have you had an ultrasound?” he asked unexpectedly.

  “Yes. As far as the doctor can tell, the baby is perfect and it’s a good size.”

  She saw a little nerve throb along his forceful jaw, evidence of the emotion he was experiencing.

  “Are we having a boy or a girl?”

  Ashley averted her eyes. “I don’t know.”

  “Why not?” he fired back.

  “I—I decided I wanted to be surprised, so I asked the doctor not to tell me. All I care about is that it’s normal.”

  “It appears that if I hadn’t called you, I wouldn’t have known about our child until after it was born,” he murmured, sounding far away. “What really made you come?”

  It was hard to look anywhere except at him. “Greg said—” She paused, afraid to reveal too much. Talking about his best friend was like treading on sacred ground. She didn’t know exactly what she should say.

  “Tell me!”

  She shook her head. “He was worried about you, that’s all.”

  His eyes flickered dangerously. “He always did have a lot of influence over you.”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to remind him that Sheila had only to call him—ostensibly about a business problem—no matter what hour of the night, and he would leave Ashley in bed to take care of it.